Disapointed With My Parents

My friends use to talk about their parents working in the US and sending them US Dollars as pocket money and it was a huge amount. I saw my uncle and aunties minting money, traveling and always on go.
I saw them built big houses and drive posh cars, how I envied and compared them with my parents.
I argued why they won't go and mint money like all other elders were doing?
I felt it was wrong for them to be staying like that all the time.
When I talked of growing big with wealth and status, my dad will interfere saying that money is not everything and everyone needs to be happy with what they have.
The answer didn't satisfy me although I tried to heed what my parents had to say.
It's not that I hated my parents. They were far better than anyone I knew, they were the toppers in school days and was better intellectually in every aspect still they remained in their boundary. I felt they can do better than this for sure.
Now the time has past and my life has started. I've come to understand my parents in the whole different way and it is very beautiful. My parents life is like a living dream.
They don't have much, but they give more than what they have to all the needy people as well as to people who had enough.
They would say they don't have enough money and the very next time I see them making donations  and sponsoring the meditators and village people.
It left me confused.
I would ask for some money, but they would not spare any saying they never got from their parents as well. They were doing all the duties faithfully as parents, they never left any of us hungry or uneducated.
That made me sad.
I use to have so many projects in hand and would go to ask my father to write some essays for me, and immediately he would tell me to write by myself and he will correct it.
It made me frustrated.
I use to ask my parents to let me go for dinners, but my dad use to tell me to ask mom and my mom to say to ask permission from my father. I never left the house at the end and it made me angry.
Strangely now I know what they were doing and how happy they were and how lucky I am to be born to them.
They said,'No' to everything else but gave all their love and time for me and the family. They were rich because they were giving. They were proud because their children learned to respect and work hard if they wanted something.
My parents have given all their time to us except spend all their money on  us. They made us earn our own bread and taught us life is easy for us if we worked hard. They taught us there is more happiness in giving time to the family, and helping and giving to others than minting money. Money is important but not so important than the life we give to people and the happiness which comes along with it.
I'm indeed very blessed and love my mom and dad for raising me as their beautiful gift and I 'm happy I didn't waste their time.
Now that we have ur own home and sharing the responsibility to pay for it makes me even proud because I feel like they have kept this share for us to prove their test that they are definitely highly qualified as the enlighteners for their children.
For this, I'm forever more blessed and ever wealthier and happy than before.
Thank you for everything and keep that love coming to me.
I need you two and I love you, mom and dad.

The thing called intimacy

To shy away from intimacy when discussing about physical attraction is very common in a kind of  society i was brought up in. Nonetheless , as i crossed stages of puberty and reached my adult hood i am experiencing a lot of intimate moment with my partner.
I realize that in a relationship saying 'I love you' is not enough if there is no feeling when saying it.
Every time when i am with my partner, there is admiration and enchanted enjoyment which i fail to even explain to myself.

No, i am not taking about sex although the word intimacy is usually linked with sexual desires and when talked about sex, it  is marginalized. I am not ashamed to experience this veritable treasure with the one i love.
For us, the way we cherish each other is very vital to keep this relationship strong.
Whenever he talks and cares for me, i feel like endorphin has been injected in my body because i can't stop feeling good.
To be in a relationship with someone whom you never met or knew of before and now choosing to share your life with this wonderful stranger comes with huge responsibilities and risk.

Sometimes we just need to go with our guts, it  behooves us to trust an unknown.
Life doesn't promise us anything except gives us moments. So, even if my gut is wrong i'll get moments to cherish upon. At the back of my head, i will think "Hey, at least i tried and experienced a human life".

Till this day, i have never regretted that i chose to go with my guts which is still  hovering  undiminished. 

To talk openly with him without any fear of being judged, with every nodding signaling support, and a smile that promises good days are very precious to me.
These are my intimate moments where i get to appreciate my life and people around me. That intimate moment with one person but also touches other people's life with love as well. This is more than anything i ever wanted.

I have conquered the glitches in a relationship not alone but together with my partner as he is equally responsible for defining who we are.
I can keep on writing but everything has to come for a closure and i choose this happy moment to make it my happy ending while i am still enraptured with my man.
If i get to kiss him  now that would be even better.
Wishing lots of love,luck and happiness to myself.
A dream come true.

Everything I Ever Wished

'Don't stop, make it work,run as fast as you can', it's like a mantra to start the day.
As if the unborn child know the challenges lying ahead of it, it kick starts from it's mother's womb.
It smiles,boxes with it's fragile fist and kicks the womb to let him out.
Once it is out from it's comfort, once the unborn child is born, the child cries and whines. How the child with it's first breath smells the nasty air and yearns to go back to it's warm soft womb.
We can relate to this unborn child when we were under the guidance of our parents. Knowing they will be there to save us from all the troubles, we felt safe and secure until the puberty strikes and we feel like we can rule the world.
Some of us might have felt embarrassed for somethings which was quite natural to accept the mean action of our parents. Maybe you hated them for that.
Maybe you felt friends are more important. They don't allow you to go to a picnic with your friends and you become mad.
You wanted to go to a party but they refused.
You might have hated them for their efforts of refusing you to hang out with your friends but have you ever realized that they were saving you from getting into troubles. You must know that you are a very special gift for them and them to you.
Have they ever refused when you told them you were going out for a group study, or a study tour and other volunteer works?
They have supported you in all the good things to make you an independent person, to learn good from bad and above all a good human being.
They might have proven to be the meanest person in your life but they will also be the first person to be there when everyone walks out of your life. They love you even when you murmur hate words under your breath.
You waited all the years to be free and do whatever you like.
Your wish is finally granted when you graduate to adulthood, it is amazing for a while but you will always wish you were with your parents. The cars that are parked outside the house, the roof where you sleep under took ages to build, your parents worked so hard and you too have the responsibility  to work hard to show some love to your parents.
If you have hurt your parents, do not regret because they are the kindest soul you will ever bypass. It's never too late to show some love and tell them how much you appreciate them.
We are the unborn child wishing to go back to it's womb.
When your parents are still alive, why can't we make a small effort everyday to make them feel loved, why not start today by asking if they had their meal.

For the love of my parents- I love you
                                             The amazing thing that ever happened in my life its you two.
                                            AND
You can also start picking your phone and spread some love.

*This article is not meant to hurt anyone's feeling but to revive some pure love.*

Falling in Love in Pai

Speeding up the winding roads for 5 hours, i didn't know what to expect except disappointment.
We had no time, just one day trip and having to pick up friends as you go along the way seemed a tiring journey.

In this famous foreign land known as 'Land of Smiles', i bummed into few wonderful people and this time Can my sweet companion had  planned a journey to a place called 'Pai'. His character is that of a gentleman and man full of logic's. It's no use trying to pick a fight with him, he will extinguish your anger with his mind eating games.

Game- it's my friends name, physically huge and big at heart too. Well you shouldn't argue with him when he is driving, this is because he drives like a 'formula 1 driver'. So many times i had to bite my lips imagining a car crash. Luckly! he is  good, experienced and a skilled driver.

Well, i was a back-sitter full of complaints. The road never seemed to end and the rain drops started to trickle making the road more slippery and my plan less interesting.

Finally the winding road was disappearing and a sign board read "Welcome to Pai". We all cheered as our back was numb from sitting all the way and longed to stretch our body.

We checked in and then went on a stroll on a walking street.As a shopper i couldn't stop myself from adding few earrings in my collection.
We had skipped our lunch to reach  Pai early and here we were experiencing extreme poverty.
I chose the nearest restaurant and my friends were astonished as i ordered burgers,fries, salad and fried rice just for myself. 'Can you eat all?" ,they remarked. With a smile i said i can even eat a horse right now.
So yes, we had a hearty meal and luckily they didn't charge us 1000 bucks for a burger. It was suppose to be expensive especially if they know that you are 'farang' slang for a foreigner.

While in the tent resort i had a spa for relaxation while my other guys were busy clinking their glass full of 'special courier whisky'.
I couldn't keep up with them and feel asleep. 5 A.M : time to go see the sun rise but it was still raining so our 1st plan got cancelled and happily snugged back to our bed again.
Pai was different in the morning, the place was really cute and reminded me of places described in the story books that i read in my young years.

I was part of that place, closed community with houses build right out of fairy tales. Some of the coffee shops were like a mushroom and Easter eggs.

We were hopping from one place to another just like flipping the adventurous chapters of a book.

It was good to have a photographer friend, who took beautiful pictures and captured every awesome moment with his heavy professional camera.

Pai, was well known after a movie was shot there , it was called 'Falling in love in Pai'.

Although the trip seemed short, i had fallen in love with Pai.
Strangely enough i had found friends whom i can trust. The moment spend in the bridge had bridged our friendship too.Maybe this is what happens in Pai.
Fall in love with self.

Unwanted Stage

There is a time when you feel you have lived your life to the fullest and times you want to withdraw your application to live more, I mean the resignation letter from the death god  but then life goes on.

Everything is flowing smoothly for a while and next in a blink of an eye everything disappears.

Your dear parents do not have faith in you, your friends become disappointment, strangers become your foe and worst of all you start underestimating yourself.

Breathing a life becomes difficult, each time you think about your failures it sucks your life out of you which for once it was applaud for prosperity.

"Lets celebrate", my friends plans for a party but then am not up to the plan, you know why that is because New Year and new age means degenerating your good days, your good age and mostly inviting new challenges.

it is strange though how our decision can affect our life like my old folks would say "a little spark can start a fire" but then what is bitter to know is that a spark of fire can ruin your life for eternity and also it can sparkle your life.

So i dream about having success kiss my foot, wealth everywhere i step on and cupid tagging along with me but then

"Knock knock" wake up this won’t work in reality until you sweat yourself and sacrifice your blood.

Indeed youth is a wonderful age blessed by the devil.

you are at best age ,beautiful you, wanted everywhere which means you are a celebrity glittering all the way, sounds very fresh and lusty.

But what lies under all that beauties is that “game of the devil”, you have always been the victim of all the unseen prays disguised as a friend, lovers and all the ones whom you considered as the one who has been blessing you.

This time of the age is the age where you wish you had already skipped the chapter and moved on with the playful and happy life.

But then interesting part is this part of your stage is going to help you make better plan for your precious future and take a confident decision.

So i thank my Ken-Cho-Sum for blessing me with all the disastrous blessing which has kept me going with my life and further more I will accept the challenges that has to come.

Note that we all can do it for there is no room for the word impossible. Everything is possible and you can do it.

Wishing you all with more challenges and mistakes for it is going to make you strong and signature you of who you will become.

Path-I

Her sexy waist dances spontaneously as she walks her path. Without any effort her hair falls on her face beautifully. That powerful face that she carries with grace and her lips sealed away from reality.
Those deep hazel eyes are yet to see all the faulty of people surrounding her.
She clutches on her bag for confidence as she bids farewell to her colleges. Her high heel taps to the ground as she quickly gets inside her car. She shuts the door and for a moment she closes her eyes, it’s her daily routine. She knows behind those smiling face dwells the devil who tries to shun her. “You know who you are”, her soul shouts in her head but then all that lusty eyes fails to look in her eyes and tags names  with her sex appeal.
She consoles herself, “It’s my god’s creation and whatever happens is my Karma; it’s a blessing, it was meant to happen”.
She has been told not to expose herself, not to speak out how she feels, not to think selfishly, not to be curious, not to experiment but to always follow the norm- “Girls should always live by utmost behaviour and ethics”.
There is no I’s or I in her life, it is normally for her parents, sister, brother, husband, in-laws and it continues.
Her life was never hers. She was born for others for their purpose.
When she tries to smile and makes best of her life doing the duty of a daughter, sister and a friend. Sometimes the choices are as thin as silken cloth. Opportunity cost always plays a huge role in her life; and she is always the one losing the game.
Perhaps it is not possible for anyone to understand her, sometimes even to herself.
She is concealed in a cocoon but her eyes are not restricted to see life, to love the person she is and to be grateful for her beautiful body.

Everything seems fair for her now but in next to no time, her life will be exposed to utterly unexpected events, complex as it is.